Should

I should be able to keep things in my room without them getting broken. Should being the key word. I should be able to leave things where they belong. Should being the key word. I should be able to have nice things. Again should is the key word. And I should be able to live my own life but should is the key word. Everything in my life is crap. My mom taped over one of my old favorite movies and she said it was because it was a kids movie. But it felt like she had taken a piece of my child hood. and Then i realized, everything that I have has been taken away or broken. DVD's are scratched and ruined. Food, is stolen. People telling me how to live my life. The thing that scares me is how apathetic I've become. I no longer care. about anything. About all my possessions being lost. about how disgusting my house is. Everything. I just don't care. I just know that right now my life sucks. I can't appreciate anything right now, I am just counting down the time until it get ruined. How sad is that. I just need something really good to happen, to get me out of this mood. But then will I be able to appreciate it?