Hopes

Ever have your hopes set on something? That you are going to do well on the math test. That life is going to change. That you will be better this time. Well mine were crushed today. Not actually. It just felt that way at the time. This was supposed to be my year. I was going to get my ski instructors level. Get point shoes. Do my dance exam and work over the summer at my camp. Well numbers 1 and 2 came true. The rest well, it just didn't happen. maybe next year right. It just always hurts when things don't happen the way you expect. And its not like any of its my fault. Its just timing and circumstances. But it still sucks. and no matter how much you say it doesn't matter, or I don't care, its a lie. I put myself out there, took a chance and I fell. Falling hurts. Now its just a matter of finding the energy to pick myself up. Its getting harder to find that energy. And things that should just role down my back are sticking. I know I need to find a way to use that pain as motivation, but that also takes energy I'm not so sure I have.