Friends

I don't know if its me or them. Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe what i want in a friend is unrealistic. Is it too much to act for my friends to treat me fairly and the way i treat them. And is it a crime to get a little mad sometimes. Today we were outside at the park and i wanted to go back to the school for a sec just to check to see who was in my class. I asked my friends if they would go with me and they weren't even nice or apologetic. they were like, "ha, no" or "hell no". so i got mad and i left. just the other day I stayed with Yelena even though i wanted to go somewhere else, and i told her she doesn't do the same for me and she is like, OK I'll owe you. so much for that crap. and i went with Melissa to another room, even though she almost never does for me, and i needed to get to my locker. I was pissed off. and then after Melissa calls me and asks why i ignored her when she said hi after. and when i said i was mad she is all "OK whatever" and starts saying how its a good thing i won't be seeing any of them until the next school year. cause apparently we won't be seeing each other all summer. She will be busy working and Kelly is too lazy and i don't know what other excuses she came up with.

no matter what happens i know i will be OK. I am used to being abandoned by those who are supposed to love me. and i have been on my own for so long, i know i will be fine. but it still hurts to think that she at least thinks the friendship is over. and we have been mad at each other in the past and it usually blows over, but what if it doesn't? it is still really sad that a bunch of great friendships could end like this. and it is soo stupid.

did i over react, or was i right to be annoyed?

I am not mad at them any more, just Melissa now

Friends

My friends are bitches! not all the time, but lately they have been bugging me more and more. At first it was just one of them. she is very flirty and that started to get to me. I no longer want to hear about all the guys she is playing, and whats more, if its not about her she doesn't even listen to what i say. But now its all of them. we are trying to make plans and they are all like "you do it" and "i don't care" and one of them told me i should pay for her bus fair. i mean seriously!? plus i feel like i am being squeezed out. she doesn't talk to me as much and last week she asked out this guy that i used to like, and maybe still do. this is after i told her i wouldn't go after another guy cause she liked him. what kind of friend is that. I just want to scream at them. and it doesn't help that all i want to do is get out of the house cause my mom is driving me insane. but i don't even have anyone to talk to about this and i am driving myself crazy self analyzing. its just soo bloody stupid and i just want to spaz at her. who dealt me this crap hand to play with (so to speak)